How to Tell if the Guy is Good

How to Tell if the Guy is Good After a Few Dates

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So, you've been out with this guy a couple times. He is friendly, funny, and doesn't have any noticeable tattoos of his ex-girlfriend's name, which is always a good thing. But how do you know if he's a nice boyfriend or just another good-looking guy with a bunch of bad habits? Let's get into the fun world of dating and discover how to see the signs that he could be “the one.”

Top Takeaways and Key Concepts

  • Observe how he treats others: Watch how he interacts with waitstaff or strangers to gauge his true character.

  • Listen and respect opinions: If he listens and values your thoughts, it shows maturity and emotional intelligence.

  • Look for consistency: A trustworthy guy keeps his promises and is reliable over time.

  • Evaluate shared values: Discuss important life goals, like family, career, and finances, to see if you're aligned.

  • Feel comfortable being yourself: If you can be authentic around him without fear of judgment, it’s a strong sign.

Summary of This Article

The article outlines key signs to watch for when dating a guy to determine if he’s a good match for a long-term relationship. It emphasizes the importance of observing his behavior toward others, especially how he treats people in everyday situations. Listening skills, consistency in his actions, and the ability to respect differing opinions are essential qualities in a partner. Equally important is discussing shared values, such as goals for the future, to ensure compatibility. Finally, feeling comfortable being yourself without fear of judgment is a sign of a healthy relationship dynamic.

How to Tell if the Guy is Good

First, take attention to how he treats other people. Does he treat the people that work at the restaurant well? Is he kind to folks he doesn't know? That he can be polite and nice in everyday situations speaks a lot about him. If someone is pleasant to others, they will probably be nice to you too. It's like having a peek inside his heart!

Next, watch how he handles disagreements or little bumps in the conversation. Does he listen when you tell him what you think? If he respects your opinions, even if they are different from his, it shows that he is grown up. Partnerships need to talk to each other a lot! It's a significant green indicator if he wants to talk things out instead of shutting down or getting defensive.

You should also look for things that he does that are consistent. Is he true to his word? You trust him more if he says he'll call or text later and then does. When you want to be with someone for a long time, you need to be able to count on them. You need someone who will keep their word!

Another sign is how much effort he puts into being with you. Is he excited about planning dates or doing new things with you? If a guy spends time and effort making memories with you, it implies he wants to build something special with you. If he's willing to do things that make him uncomfortable for you, like going to that weird art show you love, it's a big deal.

Finally, pay attention to what he says about his plans and hopes for the future. Is he include you in them? It's a good sign that he might be serious if he talks about his objectives and wants you to be a part of them. If partners have the same vision for the future, they could become very close.

There you have it! As you keep dating this nice guy, look for these signs. Also, trust your gut; sometimes it knows what's best! There are going to be wonderful dates ahead!

Observing His Behavior Towards Others

His Behavior Towards Others

First, pay attention to how he treats other people. You may learn a lot about someone by watching them accomplish something. It shows that your date is a good person if they are kind to waitstaff and strangers. I once went out with a guy who thought he was a king. He shouted at the waitress for forgetting his additional lemon slice, as if the poor guy had done something really bad. What are the chances that someone will be polite to you when times are bad if they can't be nice to the ones who bring them food? It's like red flags blowing in the wind!

But we've all met those nice guys who act nice until they don't. You asked for a gourmet meal, but you received fast food instead. If your boyfriend only acts nice when it's convenient for him or when you're around but mean when you're not, that's not a good boyfriend. No one wants to be with someone who has two faces; it's exhausting!

Also, notice if his behavior is the same all the time. A real person will treat everyone with respect, not just you when he wants to impress you. You should watch how he acts over time and in different situations since that's when you can see his true colors! Also, watch how he acts with his family and friends. Does he care for and support them?

He can be unpleasant or dismissive of you too if he is rude or dismissive of other people, especially those who are close to him. For partnerships to work, there has to be respect and understanding. Think about how horrible it would feel if your partner made light of your interests or belittled your successes just because they were different from his.

Also, pay special attention to what he says about his past relationships. If he always blames his exes for everything that goes wrong and never takes any blame himself, you should leave. This attitude demonstrates that you don't know yourself or take responsibility, which are two crucial things for healthy partnerships. Everyone makes mistakes, but being able to admit when you're wrong shows that you're an adult.

Keep these tips in mind as you go through the dating process! By studying how he treats other people, you can learn a lot about who he really is. Chemistry isn't enough for relationships; they also need respect and kindness!

His Listening Skills Matter Much

His Listening Skills

A lot of males don't seem to know how to listen. You might think this is obvious sense, yet some males still think that talking about themselves for hours is a kind of communication! On my last date with Mr. Self-Centered (who I think is a motivational speaker on the side), I barely got two lines out before he started telling me another anecdote about how great he was at soccer in high school. How many times can someone talk about how great it was to score goals?

A nice person should also want to hear what you have to say. Does he want to know more about your life? Is he really interested in what you love and want to do? If he leans in when you talk or nods along, that's a good sign that he's interested. It's even nicer if he remembers minor things from earlier talks, like if you told him last week that you liked chocolate chip cookies and he surprises you with some on your next date. That means he's not just listening; he's really paying attention!

If so, well job! You might have discovered someone who recognizes that relationships are about give-and-take, not just take-take-take like a bottomless pit of neediness. It's nice to meet someone who knows that talking to each other is more fun when they share the spotlight. When both people talk, it turns into a dance of conversation instead of a monologue.

Now think about going together with someone who never asks about your day or seems to care about your stories. It's like being stranded on a one-way street when all the cars go toward him and you have to wait for a chance to merge. You shouldn't feel like you're always trying to fit words into a cup that's too full. Communication should seem balanced.

Also, pay attention to how he reacts when you tell him anything significant or sensitive. Instead of making fun of you or diverting the discussion back to himself, a supportive spouse will listen and give help. You might want to think about things again if he can't talk about important issues without bringing up his own experiences.

So, when you're on a date, look out for these symptoms! Good communication isn't just talking to fill the quiet; it's making a connection where both individuals feel heard and respected. And let's be honest: no one wants to date someone who is full of themselves.

Checking for His Consistency Over Time

Checking for His Consistency

As time goes on and you've been out with him more than twice without worrying if you're both stuck in an episode of “Survivor,” pay attention to how he acts and what he says. You want to know if he means what he says. Can you trust him? Does he stick to his plans, or does he cancel at the last minute because “something came up”? Believe me, there's nothing worse than looking forward to a date only to find out that he's suddenly “busy” washing his hair or putting his socks in order. How often do you really need to wash your hair?

I dated someone who canceled our arrangements so many times that I started to think we were just pen pals living in different states! I mean, come on! One minute we're making plans for a fantastic night out, and the next, he seems to have disappeared. If your date is more flaky than a box of pastries, there's a red flag that looks like it's at a football game.

So, pay attention: If he keeps showing up and maintaining his word, even on tiny things, that's absolutely something to remember. He could always remember to text you back right away or bring your favorite snack when you hang out. Those small things pile up and show that he wants this to work.

Over time, trust grows when people are reliable. It's about knowing that when he says he'll contact you later, you won't be stuck gazing at your phone like it's a magic eight ball that tells you bad news. You deserve someone who cares about your time as much as his own!

Picture making plans for Saturday night and then having him ghost you because “life got busy.” That makes you feel like an afterthought instead of someone important in his life. But what happens when he does? That's like finding an extra fry at the bottom of the bag—what a nice surprise!

Look for patterns in how he handles other responsibilities as well! Can you count on him with friends or family? If people know him for being there for them, he'll probably do the same for you. Consistency isn't only nice; it builds a strong base where both partners can feel safe and valued.

So listen up! A man who honors his word is worth keeping because trust and respect are two important parts of every love tale worth telling.

Understanding His Core Values

His Core Values

Figuring out if your new relationship has a chance to last or if it's going to end up in the recycling bin faster than yesterday's leftovers depends on how well you understand each other's values. Do you both want the same big things in life? Having the same principles makes it lot easier to navigate through life together, whether you want to be with your family or work for your career goals. Think about what it would be like to try to build a house with someone who wants to use marshmallows instead of bricks. It won't work!

For instance, if one of you wants five kids while the other thinks kids are like throw pillows, then Houston, we have a problem! That's like making plans for a road trip and then finding out your companion wants to fly instead. It's critical to know where you both stand on important issues right away. Don't be afraid to talk about these things; they can be interesting and even enjoyable!

Talk about these things organically on your dates. This will help you figure out if you're going to be a pair or if you're going to go your separate ways and end up single again. You may ask him what he thinks about family over coffee, such, “Do you see yourself as a dad someday?” and see how he replies. That's a positive indicator if he gets excited at the notion of kids running around. If he looks like you just asked him to do arithmetic homework, that could be a sign that something is wrong.

Also, think about things like travel. If one person wants to backpack through Europe and the other wants to stay home and watch TV all night, it may make for some awkward holiday plans. Finding things you both like to do can help you have experiences together that bring you closer.

And what about money? Talking about money can be quite uncomfortable, but it's really necessary! Do you both think it's better to save for the future or live in the present? If you don't agree on this, it could pose problems later when you have to decide whether to spend or save for big trips or even those throw pillow accessories!

It's not enough to just agree on everything; you also need to respect each other's opinions and be willing to make compromises when necessary. Communication and understanding are two important factors that keep relationships robust and interesting.

So go ahead and talk about your principles and goals in depth. It might seem hard at first, but attaining this clarity will save you a lot of pain later. Plus, who knows? You might find dreams that you both have that make your hearts race with enthusiasm! And isn't that what dating is all about?

Feeling Comfortable Just Being Yourself

Woman Acting Silly for Her Boyfriend

How easy is it for you to be yourself around him? When both people in a relationship can be themselves without worrying about being judged or made fun of, the relationship is strong. Do you laugh uncontrollably at dumb jokes? Or do you feel like you're treading on eggshells every time you talk? It's a big thing!

I remember feeling completely free around one guy; we could tell one other humiliating stories without worrying about losing cool points. You know, like when I fell into a bush in front of my crush. We laughed so hard that it felt like we were in our own planet. It's important for two people to be able to be themselves with each other. If you're always faking or keeping back parts of yourself because you're worried he'll run away screaming, it might be time to really think about your relationship. No one wants to feel like they have to hide who they are to keep someone interested.

Imagine this: you're eating supper, and he makes a silly face while trying to eat spaghetti. Do you laugh along with him or cringe because you believe he'll critique your sense of humor? That's not good news for long-term happiness if it's the second one. It's more important to be real than to always appear cool!

It's not hard to figure out if this individual has long-term potential. All you have to do is pay attention and use that great intuition we all have (and often neglect). Believe in your gut! Don't ignore something that feels wrong. Your instincts are like small sirens that go off when something isn't quite right.

So the next time you're wondering where this relationship could go after a few dates, pay special attention to how he treats other people, how well he listens, and how consistent he is over time while having similar beliefs. and most importantly, if you feel like you can be yourself with him! Does he like the things that make you unique? Does he try to comprehend what you're passionate about? These are signals that he likes you for who you are!

And don't forget that partnerships should make you happy and comfortable, not stressed and anxious. The appropriate individual will help you shine instead of making you dim your brightness. Love is all about letting your personality shine through, so enjoy those funny times.

Suggested Resources:

The Relationship Cure  
https://www.gottman.com/product/the-relationship-cure/

How To Tell If a Guy Likes You  
https://www.wikihow.com/Tell-if-a-Guy-Likes-You

Signs He’s Not into You  
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-women/201905/signs-he-s-not-you